College Babblings
GOD, I wish Lina [my then-roommate] would go the hell away! I spent all of Arts & Humanities fantasizing about my Russ, I would have gotten the last Sleeping Beauty [by Anne Rice] book from him if he'd had it (Gus, currently holding the position of world's utmost jerk because I know he finished it two weeks ago, still has it) and Lina being here I can't even listen to the Whitesnake I borrowed or anything else and this gorgeous frustrated horniness is slipping away into just plain frustration! I want to lie back on this bed with David Coverdale's voice serenading me and fantasize that...oh, anything that would get us into bed together! But my roommate, who I have never been so close to killing, is sitting on her bed calmly studying and even though she turned off the godawful piano music I want her gone! My head can't sustain this atmosphere by itself. What will happen with Rachel in the room next year? Well, we'll have bunk beds with me on top and I can pretend I'm alone with the aid of the Walkman.Russ, are you determined to turn me on? (Or is it her you're trying for?) Yesterday the tank top, today that white t-shirt with the loose neck that always seems to slide aside, although half your wardrobe can make me horny, you've picked the perfect outfits recently. Let me take them off you. "Are you hungry?" Only if it pleases you, my lord. I would like to say that to him on the last day we eat dinner together. He'll get the reference, I'm sure. And the implication of it is pretty much true.
Later: Anne Rice. He was right about its eroticism, sort of. Not that he said it was, actually, just that Ramses had many women. Come here, mon cher. "J'ai tant reve de toi que tu perds ta realite." [I have dreamed of you so much that you lose your reality.] It will be such an absolutely incredible kick to see him in the fall. To even get my few pictures of him developed. To perhaps get one letter from him? To think of him beside me, inside me, red hair above me like the girls in Decline of Western Civilization Part II talked about long hair above them and not just on stage.
I want my Russell! I want to wear his suede jacket with just my bikini top under it and jeans and a g-string and my boots. And some weekend when Ed isn't home, I will ask him to let me in and once we're in the room, lock the door behind us. Dance for him to the Guns'n'Roses, strip down to the underwear. Unhook the bra right in front of his face and he sits up to tongue my nipples. I could grab him then and there but I dance some more and then spread my legs in front of him and glide his hand to the lace covering my clit and he starts rubbing and I'm pushing up against his hand really hard. But then he stops and slides his hand under the lace to run up and down my labia and then into my cunt. I am moaning and jerking with his fingers inside me until he takes them out and pulls off the g-string. I start taking his clothes off as fast as I can, leaning down to mouth his cock. When he's naked, he slides back down onto the bed and I kneel on top and slide down onto his ready cock. We're fucking as fast as we can and even though I don't need any help he has his finger on my clit and I come first and keep on pumping him and he comes and I have another one, and I collapse on top of him, sliding off and just resting against him.
Today's turn on is Ed; he would be hungry, like that White Lion song, I'm sure. He mentioned him and Amber, groping and kissing, and it's so easy to imagine both of us eager needing someone (even though Russ didn't think I REALLY needed to get laid in his list of people who could use it, often I would beg to differ) and Ed and I would be good for one another if either of us were really interested, but right now it's his hands, under my shirt, a tongue in my mouth and later running over my skin, my hands twisted in his hair, his fingers inside me, then lying back on the bed and Ed above me, his cock inside me...
Horny! Russ, please please come and fuck me, I need you so badly right now, the past two days watching you sweat on the tennis court, tank top and shorts and sweatband, seeing your skin glisten with wetness the way it would if we made love outside, on a blanket spread out in the woods with the extra prod that somebody might come along. Variety: What would Fred's beard feel like against my tit? Get my hands on that ass, on the floor of rm. 102 among the stuff piled there, both of us nude and uncontrolled. Or: Will's very blond pubic hair in front of my eyes, my lips curled over my teeth (remember he told Michelle that the only way to castrate him would be with her teeth?) his hands twined in my hair as I move up and down his cock? Maybe Even: Bob, except my brain doesn't want to visualize anything without more guys in it too. Yet. But I think this ought to be enough for a while.
I suppose I have a duty to record fantasies about the one I'm actually dating now, although most of them occur late at night when or after I'm with him and not feeling like typing them. The sentence about him in the last paragraph is even more so because he's sucked on my fingers and if that can turn me on as much as it does, I know his lips and tongue on my nipples which he tells me he was tempted to try last night would be just ohhh... And his cock through layers of clothing still felt against me; I want to touch him there and press up against nothing but flesh and see if I can do a lot with my mouth. I'm throbbing right now, wondering if maybe I should ignore that I'm supposed to go type for the newsletter and see him as soon as he gets out of his test but I don't even want to think about how far things could go in four hours and anyway the anticipation will probably make me even more responsive when we get together. Take me, make love to me now! I want to say that but it would be too much and there's quite a lot still to try before that anyway.
I've gotten used to having one and fantasizing about everyone else. Tickling Russ under the auspices of Ellen. I wouldn't trust myself to stop if she weren't there. I want his hard cock pressed against my stomach, the way Fred's has been, so near and yet so fucking far. Long red hair on his head and only the littlest bit on his chest. Would his pubic hair be as long and soft as Fred's, just fire-colored against his white skin? I've been visualizing the Fantasy-land game on the BBS; first a rope and gag (never thought of a gag before but the thought of his absolute helplessness, inability to even protest verbally, turns me on extra) and then a tickle feather ("You like watching me squirm, don't you?" he said to Rosa, and she does and so do I, Ellen, Michelle.) And kissing his stomach and thighs and mouthing his cock (the fastest way to start a hard-on, Fred tells me) and then rubbing his cock with my cunt and maybe removing the gag to make him suck my mipples or even go down on me, and then finally fucking him. Oh, damn. I don't know if I want to hope I see him at lunch.
I had forgotten about that, with the gag, but it still turns me on. This weekend in the van I was fantasizing about Russ watching Fred and me fuck, watching one lose control inside me and the other get so turned on he has to take out his cock and fuck himself, thrusting into that hand as he sees what I can do.
During Casablanca last night Fred lay between my legs, head on my right thigh, and Russ with Ellen against him was just to my immediate right so when he curled up, my hand on Fred's on my thigh was just against his back. I was fantasizing: Ellen, entirely naked and hands cuffed behind her back around Russ's loft ladder. My Frederick giving her a tongue bath, special attention to nipples and thighs but only barely grazing her cunt, myaking her eyes close as she shudders in forbidden pleasure. When they can stay open, she stares in excitement/horror/fascination at Russ on his back on the floor pillows arching his back to push his hard cock against my warm, wet folds and making me moan as he presses against my clit. He reaches up to toy with my nipples. Fred has his hand on his own cock now, but he's still playing with Ellen. I adjust positions and then slip Russ inside of me; the expression on his face is ecstatic. He doesn't last very long, but the strength of his orgasmic thrusts make me come. I collapse on top of him, letting his cock slip out of me, and watch Fred come from jacking off. Ellen is dazed, but Fred goes down on her and makes her come also.
I've been thinking about that scene for over a week. It gets more detailed every time; perhaps me shocking Ellen even more by starting to lick her nipples along with Fred, perhaps even teasing Russ and Fred with my hands on their cocks at the same time.
Had a dream about Andy last night. I always found him attractive, with those pretty features that made the unconvincing Halloween drag almost real. This dream he and I were along in a very nice house which apparently was his, and I almost-seduced him. (I don't think Fred was in my life in this dream because I don't remember overcoming that objection.) All we got to was some very intense kissing and some clothed feeling before his father and little sister came home and we had to convice them that what we were doing was right. But even fingering my nipples after I woke up just called his name back to me so strongly!
Dangerous proposition, Greta and I living in the same room. "The two nicest asses in the dorm," Fred called us, and if she ever walks in on the two of us I'm sure he'll try to invite her to join in. Not that I'd mind; it'll be interesting to live with someone about as uninhibited as I am. Not that either of the two of us hits the outer limit of wildness. But I wonder how Fred would cope with both of us. Just not enough body parts, though I'm sure he'd try fucking one of us and eating out the other.
I think the whole appeal of oral sex is that you make the person you're performing it on lose all control. Like Fred doesn't moan until he starts to come during fucking, but when I start to suck him off he starts to moan almost immediately. I want to suck Russ the self-controlled virgin and make him moan, thrusting his hips against me, fucking my mouth until he shoots his load into me. There's so much power in being able to do that. I'd like to suck Fred more often, but I get too impatient to have him inside me, or my mouth just gets too tired. I've only swallowed his load like three times. Practice makes perfect, and I love the feel of pulling him all the way inside my mouth by air pressure and hearing the gasp he makes. I want to do it to other guys. Bob, should I try that on you? It does turn me on to think of abrasive Robert brought to helplessness for a minute by the lips and tongue of a woman. Or the famous vigilante Will. [This was from a sort of "mythology" we made up about people in our dorm.] Material for volume three, Will being brought down by a good fuck! Would he climb in bed with his daughter-in-law? Let her/me show him what Kathy Ireland couldn't because she intimidated men too much for them to teach her?
Oh, God. James just read the file I had of unexpurgated "mythology." I don't know if it aroused him because I was just too embarassed and I went to go take my shower while he read. But I like to think of him going home (which he did almost immediately after I got out of the shower) and going in his room and being so turned on that he had to masturbate. I want to fuck him. OK, I want to fuck all my male friends, but James is one of those whom you'd be lowering the Purity Test score 20 points in an hour, you know?
I wrote another story all in one burst last night (I wish my publishable stories went that fast!) Me and my power fixation! I don't know why I love the idea of controlling guys probably even more than myself being controlled; it probably started like in sixth grade when I wrote that one about Sean as my slave in the world where women ruled [don't have this one anymore; lent it to a friend and never got it back], and has gone on ever since. When's Hugh gonna get Fantasy Land back up so I can around raping guys!? Snicker.
New one! Nigel, Honors freshman, damn good ballroom dancer [we were both in the Ballroom Dancing club] who has a nice bulge in the front of his jeans and nice ass and cute face and something about him makes me want to fuck him pretty badly. First I get to know him a little better, hear him make more jokes about reusing condoms and communal showers and see him play Leisure Suit Larry. Then I start to dance too close and try to rub and not that any of this is going to actually occur but I like to fantasize about him and it reassures me that I'm not impossibly stuck on Russ and god I sound like my AmLit [American Literature] 1912-45! Come here, Nigel. Let me see that tight ass that moves when you cha-cha revealed.
The fantasy from that one story keeps recurring with Russ and sometimes Will and at the Honors Picnic this morning I even thought "It would be fun to tie Rick up." There's a page-long thing on why in my purse notebook. I bet Will would fight it even if he were enjoying it, just on principle. That would turn me on so much, just to have a big strong confident man entirely in my power. Just as it does for me to have no control, to pretend my hands are tied so all I can do is push my hips up toward Fred's mouth, thinking ohmigod he could stop at any time (which seems to speed up my orgasms) or when he's fucking me doggy-style and holding my hips so that I can't move back and forth; it's all his movements that slide his cock very slowly back and forth, in and out of my dripping cunt until I can't take it any more (we've gotten better at that; it used to be he always came first and I wanted to get my orgasms in orally beforehand, now he can actually make me come fucking me, which always sets him off). But God, I want a chance at somebody else! If only somebody would agree to our propositions of threesomes (would Will? I know Fred wants to ask him but he and I are both afraid we'd lose Will's friendship by asking him to do something so "perverted." But I just really wish I could try all this shit out on somebody besides Fred, because, not to be saying sex with Fred isn't really great, but there are things that aren't in his personality that I could get from an episode or two with someone else. I think.
1-22 During Silence of the Lambs last night I was a little preoccupied. Ellen on the beanbag in the corner of Russ's room; she suggested I sit on the floor beside the beanbag so I'd have somewhere to lean against (only accessible wall). Robert in the computer chair just to my right. Part of the time, Russ with his head in Ellen's lap, stretched out in front of me (convenient area to look at when the movie was getting too bloody). The rest of the time, he snuggled up to Ellen's side, about an inch from me. Both him and Robert in grabbing range; I spent so much time wondering how one or both would react to a hand on the thigh (especially since Robert was wearing shorts; extend a little finger beneath the hem?) And Ellen was close enough to a different loft post that someone fast enough could have cuffed her hands behind it. Such a recurrent fantasy I have of making her watch wild sexual things just to watch her expression. Maybe this is the same as the tying down men thing; giving pleasure (since I even think of my hands and mouth on her then, which I hardly ever thinkg of another woman [that's changed in the years since this was written]) against her will. And then Gus and Will and even Al were in the room so it was like mental cock heaven for Josie. (insert Beavis laugh here.) And after the movie Robert and Will left and Al went to sleep but Ellen and Gus and Russ and I talked about tons of stuff and for part of the time I was sitting in the chair where Robert had been and Russ was curled up taking up the space where he and I had both been, contact of my legs with much of him. Question, Russ: generally most of the guys I know do not end up touching accidentally a girl they are not dating without immediately moving away. You don't, although you don't stay touching forever suspiciously to other people. Are you doing this on purpose or is it just a characteristic of you that you don't flinch from contact? If it is on purpose, do you do it because you know it turns me on or because it turns you on independently of any effect on me? Oh, many many questions, not the least of which is will you fuck me after you break up with Ellen? You have proof that Fred doesn't mind. Would you have participated in the menage a trois if Ellen hadn't been in your life? Also we were talking about Gus's love life and criteria for picking women and he said I fit all of them except something he's discovered by watching me with Fred (dependence would be my guess but I have no proof). Do you masturbate thinking about me, Gus? Do you want to run your fingers through my long straight hair, kiss my little breasts, feel the inside of my slippery cunt?
2/12 I've never been attracted to Fritz before but I started thinking about fucking him tonight (and he wasn't even around) because of Nancy. Something about her, like Rosa, and to some small degree Staci and Ellen. Self-confidence, and in three cases uninhibitedness and the other its exact opposite. But there's always a guy in the picture, usually Fred or Russ but for some reason Fritz got dragged into the mental picture. Fucking him for her? I always have crushes on the ones I want to be, which is probably why the one on Ed died so fast and why Gus and James have started to attract me more as I got to know them better. Let's see if this idea will occupy me in bed tonight because Fred is off in Orlando and I won't even see him again until late tomorrow evening.
3-18 I'm single and so is the redhead. I've been thinking too much about him, and also Gus and Ed and sometimes James. I miss the closeness of cuddling up to someone and I want to get some reasonable facsimile of it by fucking someone. Plus all my list could stand the experience and I like the idea of being teacher. At home over spring break reading Joyce Brothers' book about men and the chapters about sex make me think of Russ, aren't you tired of being a virgin yet? I want to write to him as "Minerva" from the anon.penet.fi account and proposition him as "Lazarus," since I'd never have the courage to do it in person. [These names are a reference to characters in a series of Robert A. Heinlein science fiction novels.] Make sure he knows it would be just consolation and caring for me since "Ira" has gotten a divorce or at least separation from the Long family. Fred told me Russ said I was attractive! You're desperate, Jos. I know, but this would be safer than rebounding into someone and calling it a relationship. See him in shorts and a tank top, accidentally brush a hand against his chest and rub those nipples (Joyce confirms that this is erotic for most men), sit on his lap and wiggle and lean down for such a long kiss, pressed against him and so urgent lipsmoving and tongues touching. Unbind his hair and guide his hands to my breasts, getting hard just imagining his touch (gentle unlike Fred's?), unbutton my shirt and let his hands run over my tits in the bras that fit properly, pull off his tank top and then start stroking his hard-on though those shorts. Climb up to his loft and press so close that there is room to spare on the single mattress, get him so horny he won't know what he's doing. There are many tones of substitution in this story; it's a good thing I would be propositioning him electronically and we would have time to think.
3-27 Life is interesting. I have every chance of fucking Ed; it will be me who says yes or no, but I'm not so enthusiastic about it to schedule a time for it. Probably just PMS, but will his patience last until after my period? Blow him for his birthday? I like the idea of giving him something of that nature. But fucking the redhead still haunts me; I wish I could get him to and get it over with so I wouldn't be so distracted. I have trouble imagining propositioning him now because of Ed. But I remember all that shit he said when he was drunk Friday. This was not all at the same time but I will write as if it were.
"Tits! I wanna see tits. I haven't seen tits since Meg flashed me. It took me six to eight months to get a French kiss from Ellen, and that only happened two or three times. The only person I talked about that [S&M] to was Greta but she's a submissive. I like people who look like me -- if Barb gets Tori Amos here I'm gonna go backstage and fuck her! I wanna see tits! Josie, take off your shirt. Take off your shirt and bra. I wanna fondle your tits, I want to suck them. Go up in the loft and I'll join you." At the time I was like, no I'm not going to do this, plus Pete who was sober might have wandered in and I don't know how Gus would have reacted -- he kept telling Russ that he couldn't force me but it was OK if I agreed. Now, afterwards, I'm almost regretful, it would have been a cool excuse to show off to Russ and Gus. Maybe it was Chris and Pete's presence that made me so reluctant. I know Chris was joining in with Russ's urgings. Thinking about what Russ said turns me on and I'm almost tempted to bring it up and ask how he feels sober. I did write the Lazarus letter but because I was really into the prospect of Ed at the time there wasn't much innuendo.
Geez, I haven't written in here since then? I fucked Ed and kept on fucking Fred for a while because it was easier to get him along, plus he pushed for it often enough. That is over, so now on vacation I miss Ed. His cock would feel so good inside me, his mouth on my nipples, oh please, suck on them, put your hands on me, you could try tying me down like you said you wanted to, surprising me with every touch of your hands or your mouth or your cock. Then fuck me hard, no condom this time, every thrust and little tremor of my cunt walls transmitting to your cock.
9-2 Russ, Gus, Chris, and I went out to Kasey's for wings and playing pool. Russ hadn't changed after work, so he was in dress pants, shirt, and tie and he looked so good, especially bending over to shoot! I want his warmth; I want him to proposition me and take me into his bed.
10-6 Gus, Rachel and I watched Threesome tonight and I was thinking "I wanna try that!" during all the sex scenes. A girl, a straight guy, and a gay one. Her between them, all kissing and pressing against one another, and the bit that the movie spotlighted was (gay) Eddie's hand reaching across (girl) Alex's body and landing on (straight) Stuart's butt, then Eddie realizes that Stuart might not like that and removes it, then Stuart reaches over and replaces Eddie's hand. That was just so erotic. In Ed's copy of Madonna's Sex book, she says something like it's better to sleep with men who have at least considered the idea of sleeping with another man because they're more flexible. I agreed (but then I sleep with Fred, and despite the cruel jokes behind his back about he's desperate enough to ask Addie out, so don't bend over guys, I like the idea of watching him and another guy. Participating. A guy is a guy, and if he's with another attractive guy, I don't see why that should turn me of. And although my fantasies of two+ guys are me-oriented, them together would be interesting. But that scene, with her face kissed by Eddie and her shoulders by Stuart, and all rocking back and forth so who knows who might be inside her cunt, was very erotic.
I dreamed about Rob last night, and I know it was sexual but I can't remember details.
10-9 I went with Beth to see this week's foreign film, which was about two-thirds sex scenes. It was Japanese, about this prostitute for an SM club, so in one scene, which I didn't like, she was helping another woman top a guy (this had stuff to squick me) and the other I quite liked: the john had her dance and take off her panties in the picture window of his hotel room, and then put a vibrator up her and tied it in with crotch ropes, put ankle cuffs and a collar on her and first made her crawl on hands and knees around the room and then tied her wrists together, knees together, rope from collar to knees and had her but up against a mirror. Oh wow, that sends tingles through me. I wish I had seen it with one of my guy friends so I'd have someone to talk about it with. [This movie was called Tokyo Decadence.]
On the way out we ran into Russ, just back from CAB's trip to Atlanta. I want to hear about it, about them all getting smashed and "partly stoned," he said; I admit to a lot of curiosity about that one! Plus dancing with these girls. I wish I could talk to him about sex the way I can with Fred or even Ed. I want to fuck him but talking about sex with him would be the next best thing. Redhead?
Jesus, Russ should have his own fucking file, I think about him in here so much. But I think that's just reserved for real-life lovers -- no, wait, Ed had his own file way before I got anywhere near fucking him. But since he is now, maybe that will be future policy. I spent the half of Jurassic Park that he was there for thinking about him. Wanting to climb onto his lap, facing him, undo his pants and take his cock out, fuck him like hell. Please, Russell, can I fuck you? Can I lie on top of you and take your clothes off, tie your hands above your head so that you can't put them on my hips and try to control my speed and intensity, tease you, sliding up and down your length as slowly as I can possibly manage, wiggling around you for my own benefit, until finally you can't take it and try and slam your hips upward as powerfully as you can in your position and it feels so good that you're hitting the back wall and I match your intensity and I come and convulse all around you and that triggers your orgasm. Oh, dammit, when will I have the courage to ask you please do this for me in real life?
11-26 Last night I dreamed about Fred and Bob; it was one of those where you woke up at some point but I'm not sure exactly where in the narrative. The two and I were at Adventure Island or canoeing or something near the water, and we all had on bathing suits. Afterwards, I guess chez eux but I don't really know, Fred and I were alone in a room and I asked him to unclip my top and just as it fell off Bob entered. I pulled a t-shirt over my head but Bob got a pretty good glimpse. I forget why, I think he made some flabbergasted comment, but I walk toward him and say something and rub up against him. Then I pull off the shirt, and pull down my bikini bottoms, and tell him I've always wanted to have one guy in my mouth and one in my cunt. (Fred has been standing quietly watching all this.) Bob is still a bit surprised, but he seems to be interested enough in the naked woman in front of him to consent. So I get one of them to suck each one of my nipples, Bob listening to my moans and noises and all, and gradually it works around to Bob fucking me doggy style and Fred in my mouth, accompanied by a dialogue on that being the best (maybe only) position to have two guys that way.
12-3 "I had this dream the other night..." and boy have they been good ones lately. Yesterday I went over to Fred's and we fucked, while Will sat in the front room watching TV and later using his computer. And while Fred and I were locked away, I imagined Will outside, knowing perfectly well what was going on inside, and stroking himself while he imagined us, or imagined me going down on him, which Fred says Will says is the thing that turns him on the most or about so. [Blowjobs in general, not me in particular!] Then I imagined just walking out of Fred's room, half-dressed, and without a word kneeling in front of Will and taking out his cock to start sucking on it. Fred, of course, would follow and watch, and I would enjoy Will's moans and all even more because of my spectator, possibly getting so aroused he would take me from behind, letting Will watch me be penetrated doggy-style while he could look down and watch me sucking him.
Anyway, then in the evening Ed, Rachel, Marie and I went to see Interview With the Vampire, and oh, Brad Pitt is about to make in onto the list of actors I wanna fuck, and of course Christian Slater had long since headed it, and the movie was so very subtly sexual that it was great. So I dreamed that Will and I were vampires and Bob, Fred and Russ were among our potential prey. It was a very sexual dream; I remember having to promise not to bite somebody as we got close to sex, and all that. I really wish I remembered more of it. Tonight I watched a movie with Russ, and then we played cards. I want him so bad. I wonder if I like that little necklace he wears because it looks like a collar. I wonder if that's why he likes it. How drunk do I have to be to get up the fucking courage to proposition him!?
1-11 Ohmygod, the clock is ticking until Russ goes off to law school and I want him so fucking bad! Tonight I turned down a movie with Gus and Fritz because I knew Russ would show up at the Movies on the Lawn with Ellen and I; he'd said something about it last night, and I sat there in the cold looking at him, fantasizing about bringing my hand up on the side Ellen couldn't see, tickling him just 'cause it's the only fucking way I feel comfortable touching him, when will I get up the courage to ask!?!? I want his warm body up against me, I want his hands stroking my breasts, I want to kneel before him and suck his cock, then his tongue licking my clit with his finger inside me...shit, I need to buy a dildo so I can use it in the shower, the only fucking place I can masturbate around this dorm. I need to draft a letter to Russ to send right after my next period for maximum time for things to happen.
2-4 Fucking ticking clock! When Fred and I made love on my birthday, he told me to close my eyes and imagine that Russ was there beside us watching us fuck, to rub my clit and imagine Russ doing it, and oh, I remember clenching and thrusting and almost quivering like in that damn story Fred wrote, some just from the additional physical stimulation but some from the mental stimulation. This last time when Fred and I fucked I kept my eyes closed most of the time imagining Russ, to see if I would react the same as last time, which I kinda did. God, I want to be on top of him with his cock inside me, to reach down and rub my clit and watch his reactions to the pulsations of my cunt, and lean down and have him suck on my tits while his cock is inside me. I want to buy those Sponges, one for him so I can feel the skin of his cock inside me instead of just latex, and one for Ed so I can watch him come inside me, see him lose control, and one for Fred because he deserves a great fuck too. Don't stop!
2-27 Just when I'm getting up the courage to ask Russ, he might be dating somebody. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!
But I do have a new person to dream about as of about mid-last week. My College Bowl teammate Simon. Last week I was thinking about visiting his & Russ's room and having both of them, the usual one-on-each-nipple thing, and it kinda gradually worked up to the thought of Simon on his own. Peculiar, since although I see his postings every damn day I have only known him personally through College Bowl, and despite our two years on the same team, still not all that well. And physically, I can't say he's wonderfully attractive, though not bad. So I guess it's the net.acquaintanceship (we talk a lot more over computer than in person!) that my attraction is based on. Right now I want both of them in my room, actual social interaction by choice. Flirt, me dancing for them a little bit, music. End up across laps on my roommate's bed, two mouths against my skin, someone's fingers under my shirt and rubbing across my nipples, my ass wiggling against whoseever thighs. But damn it, I don't want to have to make it all up, for a fucking change!
10-25 Dammit, I just got laid two hours ago, I shouldn't be horny again! Me and my hormone peaks; I do wish I could spread it out more. But Ed is always there, willing to suck my nipples and finger my clit even when he was dating Malka, and now, willing and able to fuck me silly. Damn, when he had me doggy style I could barely stand it. I'm sorta used to him not coming inside me, as he still seems to get so much pleasure out of fucking and being sucked -- I just wish my damn jaw wouldn't give out so I could keep taking him all inside my mouth until he goes from those subtle little pushes up to not being able to control his thrusts, making the bed squeak and finally shooting his sweet sperm into my mouth. I really wish I could do that sometime, partly 'cause it would turn me on so much and also in return for all the pleasure he's given me. Or some kind of birth control that wasn't a condom. Perhaps I should get a diaphragm so I could feel the real texture of his cock inside me and so he could feel what it's like when I get so slick that he can barely stay inside at the outside part of some thrusts. And I want him to go down on me; it's been so bloody long since anyone's done that. Perhaps when Fred comes down for Veterans' Day; I hope that won't be at a bad time. I miss the feeling of that skilled tongue on my clit and those fingers deep inside me (though Ed proved he's damn good at the fingers bit today and previously!) God, I want him here now so I can suck his cock. Ooh, what I bet he would love to dream about would be me sucking his cock until my jaw gives out and then another woman there to take over.
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