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27 June 2000 -- Damned alarm woke me this morning from a very nice dream -- a big bed with Simon on one side, Russ on the other, me lying on my side as Simon fucked me from behind, Russ facing us, watching and jerking off. (That's what happens when I see Simon at the get-together and read the first issue of my Nerve subscription in the same evening.) It's such a shame that he and I get along so badly when sex is in the picture, as I still find him very attractive even with shorter hair.

Reading one of those piece-of-crap cheap erotic novels from the box Ed's mom bought -- as much as I make fun of the diction and inaccuracies, I did get turned on. Now I'm thinking of my dream, of having Russ move forward until he's rubbing against my front while Simon fucks me. I can feel his hard-on rubbing against me and watch his face as he reacts to the friction.

1 August -- I recently have imagined some magic that would get Simon, Russ and me off in our own world, without privacy. Originally it was just Russ waking up while Simon and I were having sex; he would pretend to be asleep but see through barely-slitted eyes and hear everything, Simon and I lying on our sides with Simon thrusting into me from behind, squeaks and stifled moans coming from us. The sex is great; afterwards Simon has to go pee and I say aloud to Russ's apparently sleeping frame that I don't see how he could possibly sleep through all that, upon which remark he opens his eyes and sheepishly admits to having been awake and aroused. I tell him his being there rather turned me on, then ask if he'd like some time along to take care of that hard-on or if he'd like me to help him with it. He respectfully declines the latter, still wanting to stay faithful to Leah. I forget if it was then or later that we talked about what constituted infidelity and what turns a sometime submissive like him on. I suggest tying him to a chair if he wants to watch and he admits to liking the idea.

The first time we have him in a chair a little ways from the bed, while I'm on top of Simon. Russ gets a perfect side view of me, of Simon reaching up to cup my breasts, of my hips riding him and my face, open-mouthed and eyes closed. The next time, I lie there telling Russ and partially acting out a long detailed fantasy of Leah and me having sex with him watching. Simon is listening and rubbing against my back side throughout this as well, as I go through kissing her, undressing her, cupping and licking her tits, running my hands over her smooth ass, and finally sixty-nining, me licking her clit while sliding two fingers into her ready cunt. Russ's cock is weeping pre-come, and when I get up and go sit down naked on his lap, it just takes a few wiggles against him to make him come. He's not completely pleased with me afterwards, since I took advantage of his tied state to do something to him he wouldn't have done otherwise. Simon's suggestion is that next time he handcuff me and the two guys can decide on things for Simon to do to me.

11 August -- I wonder if early orgasms in my grandparents' guest room's double bed imprinted me; I get horny at odd times of the month visiting here. Or if it's all the dancing downstairs in the den with more room to shimmy and shake. Toway, even with headphones, I was impressing myself with my performance for an imaginary audience (on an imaginary bet) to "Sexy MF," which is always one of the songs. I figured out why I always feel pajamas are so sensual at my dad's -- it's the only place where I don't shower at night, and hence go directly from the day's clothing into nightgowns or pajamas.

Anyway, it's Ed and Viola. She wrote that thing about a guy who would bend her over a table and fuck her and I visualize Ed doing just that, though he'd certainly have to clear off our dining-room table first. Her bent over, pleated skirt that she wore to the get-together flipped up, Ed's hands under her t-shirt, cupping her fuller tits. Ed probably would have just dropped his pants (unless the shirt he had on was long enough to get caught between them -- then he might bother to pull it off). He's thrusting hard and fast, occasionally sliding all the way out of her and frantically trying to get aimed right to get back in -- she's so slick all over that the head of his cock just slips along her folds -- and she angles her hips a little upward, longing for his cock to enter her body again, she was so close -- and as he enters his balls swing forward and rub against her clit like they were doing before. She's pushing backwards in time with his slams, her moans are coming more quickly, and her cunt walls start to clench around Ed and he starts to gasp, to groan a bit and pump into her more jerkily for a last few thrusts. (I hope I haven't gotten peeling bits of nail polish up my cunt this evening.)

26 August -- I recently read Simon's stuff about Cooper Hall, which of course mentioned the Honors Lounge, and he made some remark about late-night sexual encounters in the lounge. I don't think he ever did more than make a pass at me there, but I suppose Dulcie and Ann were both more Lounge Rats. I remember Fred and I did a little making out there, but I was a bit nervous about using a location the whole Honors Program past and present knew the lock combination for. At times I've enjoyed thinking of Simon getting laid on the old beige couch, but since I barely remember what Dulcie looks like and have odd trouble visualizing Ann in a sexual situation, I think about my own odd-location-on-campus fantasy. It dates from the first summer I was on campus, or shortly before -- Fred and I were out walking around after dark but not really late, and I told him I imagined sneaking back late enough that the plaza would not have a soul on it other than us, and laying a blanket down on the ground in between the multiple trinks of that one tree near the music building which has branches drooping almost to the ground. Taking off all our clothes there in the warm night, sweating where our bodies come in contact (better bring some towels for afterwards!) Spreading my legs wide open, maybe with the soles of my feet against the bark of different trunks. You on top of me, slick sweat between us and the effort of pumping into me making more drops slide down your face. The warmth of the air keeps us from the goosebumps of bare flesh that we almost expect as part of sex with the A/C on. Your relatively smooth chest rubs against my tits when you're not grabbing one of them, squeezing with a hand spared from supporting yourself. We try not to make too much noise as we build to an intense climax. After that, the heat has sucked away all our energy; we lie collapsed side-by-side, and then after we recover our strength, get dressed.

I visualized this as too dark to see my partner, but the smoothish chest probably makes it Ed or Simon, and I don't think Ed would ever go for the idea, so I guess it's back to the one whose lack of fear of getting caught started me on this train of thought.

29 August -- Another one that dates back a while -- it's a party full of guys I know (Russ, Will, Simon, Gus -- it started, near as I remember, as a bachelor party for Will, and is currently reincarnating as one for Russ) and one of them (in this version, Gus) has arranged for me to dress up and be maid/waitress to the party. My green satin gown and overshirt at first, those green velvet/white lace thong panties, earrings and nails to match, hair pulled back in a ponytail. Gus announces me after all the guests have arrived; I emerge from the kitchen, swaying my hips, removing the outer shirt to show just the short gown, smiling at the guys. Whistles, jokes, Simon asks if I've got anything on under that; I cheekily reply, "Of course!" and flash him a split-second view of what's under the skirt. Bring out plates of chips and such, get beers on request. Russ slips into the kitchen while I'm in there to tell me I really don't have to do this, but I tell him truthfully I'm getting off on it. Guys get views of butt and breasts as I lean over to put down food, hand them a drink. Simon pulls me onto his lap and starts fondling me -- I make some mock-waitress command about "I'll have to leave you if one of the other gentlemen wants anything." Simon smirks; luckily he's not drunk enough to be grabbing painfully hard.

5 September -- My little Nerve site has been up maybe 2.5 weeks and the entry page counter shows 225 hits. Only 30 or so of those are me, so I guess the member directory listing is attracting people -- I wish I had log access so I could see how much of the site people actually read. But I'm overjoyed at visitors and have already started typing up the stories I didn't put up in the first round.

27 September -- I feel so young -- it seems like forever since I was horny all day and let it build up at work, while Ed netted at home, while reading Nerve and SM Visions (I need to get more BDSM erotica; it works better than any other genre to keep me going) until finally I rubbed Ed all over with lotion, went down on him until my jaw crapped out, slathered him with peach-flavored lube and gave him a hand job. We were lying head-to-knee and he stuck a finger in me and went "You're so wet" (after a whole day of thinking about it, I should be!) and though he did eventually add some lube, he was getting a lot of fingers inside me while I was still jerking him off. It was weird -- when he came, it was was trickling down my hand, just like the way my own juices run down my ass crack when I'm masturbating; I had never thought of it that way. After we'd finished and nestled up head-to-head, he said he'd felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. And after all that, I could still take on another guy, which is what makes me feel younger -- it's been four years since I've actually done two guys in a somewhat brief time. It's been just Ed for a long time, but I keep thinkg about others, Simon notably but also finishing that story Fred was writing about Russ and Ed freshman year. The image of Russ's lips sliding over the head of Ed's cock keeps returning to me. That and using a false name to have cybersex with Simon.

15 Oct -- I had two dreams the night before last; I wrote down one sentence about each but want to give more detail.

The first was a slash scene with Superman and Spiderman, I seem to remember up on the bare gray rocks of a mountaintop or someplace they could reach easily but others couldn't. I remember such tenderness, stroking one another through the costumes, which never came off, not even to uncover Peter Parker's face. (I had to ask Ed about Spiderman's secret identity, too -- I remember thinking as I woke up "that'd solve the 'Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue Paper' problem" but had to check to see if I got Spiderman's powers right.) It was like all the X-Files slash with the two being very surprised to find their attractions to each other. I guess in my fantasies everyone is bisexual.

The other dream was probably sparked by getting two e-mails responding to Josie's Place (quite positively, too -- I was in such a good mood afterward.) I dreamt of a redheaded fan named Amy (not the name of either of the two who wrote me) coming to find me (so incredibly impossible-seeming now that I'm awake) and wearing a green satin nightgown (same color as the one I have but cut differently) and us having sex. I cannot recall real details except that she had non-freckled pale skin. I wonder why redheads wearing green are so powerfully erotic to me (Russ!). Surely I can't have just picked it up out of reading Heinlein, can I? [Many of Robert Heinlein's later works feature sexy redheaded women who seem to wear green a lot.] I never -- well, I can't say that, I remember liking [actor] Seth Green way before Russ (back when Seth was more identifiably redhead, too). But getting the right color on a person, no matter what they look like, is absolutely attractive.

30 Oct -- I have this white, not-particularly-opaque, empire-waisted gown I've been wearing to bed recently and it covers enough to be sexier than naked, and I kinda like having it tighter around the rib cage and breasts but loose around the actual waist and hips. And today at Priscilla's [a lingerie store] I bought this purple satin collar because it was 75% off; it fits quite nicely and really turned me on to wear. It went well with the gown, oddly; being semi-revealed in the gown seemed very submissive. I could imagine wearing it for Simon, him and his handcuffs -- the idea scares me, it's too real because he tried to cuff me that time without checking in advance, but there's enough conflict between us that there's a thrill to the thought as well -- I have trouble getting into power fantasies with Ed or Gus. But letting Simon have access, his usual relatively rough touch and my hands behind my back, is oddly exciting to imagine. I never see him when I'm actually horny, goddammit, or at least never have a chance to get him alone. I dunno why it seems so important recently to live out some of these, instead of leaving them safely in my mind. Maybe Russ being married is spurring me to get others while I can, or something.

16 Nov -- Ed was porn-surfing in Jane's Guide and found Josie's Place listed and given the original and quality ratings. (Well, I knew it was original, but wasn't sure if they'd consider it quality.) I really need to check my Nerve mail more often -- I bet there's a message telling me to put up their little graphic waiting there. I've become even more enthusiastic about getting stuff typed for it, so it's convenient that for a while I'll have more time to type.

Well, I discovered a few weeks ago that an office, even an empty one on Sunday, is a very bad place to have sex -- not that fucking Simon there was bad sex, just that the chairs wouldn't stay in place and the desk made a lot of noise when subjected to rhythmic stress. Gotta invite Simon over here sometime when Ed's at work. But I probably won't have a chance to do that until December when I'll have more work to do.

23 Nov -- Recently acquired a magazine called Bound and Gagged which has some lovely pictures of men in bondage (although also some that do nothing for me) and have been fantasizing lately in that vein. Woke up this morning dreaming of just playing with Simon a little, blindfolding him, lying him down on the bed on his stomach and massaging his back, scratching him gently, running that little keychain tassel over him, putting on gloves and fondling his balls in velvet, reaching around to roll his little nipples between my fingertips, turning him over, massaging his front, leaning forward to kiss his ears and neck and mouth, surprise him with a nipple at his lips, which eagerly open and suck on it. Moving down to run my tongue around the head of his cock and make him gasp, and finally to get on top of him, holding his cock so I can lower myself onto it -- he's still blindfolded and for him it could be anybody riding him -- maybe he's visualizing that actress he likes on top of him.

Christmas Eve -- In the downstairs den at my grandparents'. Everyone's gone to bed, so I've taken off my pajamas, enjoying the opportunity not to be confined in cloth. The room felt slightly overheated in my pajamas but is wonderfully comfortable nude -- not even my feet are cold.

Rubbing lotion into my winter-dried skin, which soaks it up unbelievably fast, like thirsty earth. I was already rather in the mood, but rubbing lotion on my buttocks and then my breasts got me ever more so. I keep rubbing even though the lotion's absorbed, and then try to circle my right nipple and my clit with exactly the same one-finger motion. Mmm. All the sex toys are at home, so I pick up my hairbrush and slide its handle into my cunt, just like I used to do as a teenager before I had money or privacy to buy dildos. I keep on rubbing my clit with the other hand and imagine being seen doing this -- the audience is what turns a mechanical release of tension into something erotic. I go over the edge into orgasm and am able to keep moving my fingers -- it's not one of those where I get too sensitive to keep going after the first one. When I wind down, I find that I've bled a little from pushing the hairbrush bristles against tender areas -- I really ought to find some kind of case to put a dildo in when I travel.

Christmas Day -- Particularly horny today. I think it's a combination of the time of month and having seen young, attractive guys for the first time in a while. Justin, Martin, and Al seem to have aroused me even though two of them are married and two of them are my cousins (though Justin isn't genetically so [my uncle adopted him].) I wonder if Martin's a virgin. He seems like such a quiet, withdrawn type, but then so do I.

But really, I just want to be touched. Rubbed all over. I don't care by whom, as long as they have a nice touch. I believe I'll get out the lotion again.

19 Jan -- I was in Borders this evening (what a shock) and looking through the erotica anthologies. I almost want to buy Best American Erotica 1993 just for the Carol Queen story in it -- something about her work, like that excerpt in one of there recent of the series from her novel, just resonates with me. She has a way with erotic words in print, though I thought she rattled them off a little too fast when we saw her in San Francisco Lesbians Part 1. I should really how that movie to Simon some time. He'd like that it was all women, but possibly be intimidated by the zucchini and the bit toward the end where they "convert" the straight girl.

An interesting synthesis of various prior fantasies recently -- I'm dropped into another world and replace a person who's some kind of ambassador visiting a foreign queen. At that court I'm offered a selection of men to choose from and, as in all these fantasies, see and choose Russ. I don't have a chance to speak to him then. That night I go into my bedroom, conducted by the queen, and find him tied spread-eagled on the bed, ropes around the base of his cock and balls, and gagged. The queen shows me which knots are done to come undone with just a pull on a line he can't reach, and leaves. I ungag him but still have to keep looking at him -- the sight of him so open and vulnerable is so hot! He asks why I'm staring and I tell him he's so erotic that way, even though I saw him naked at the games of strip poker/twister in 1998. He goes "What?" I first wonder if he's got amnesia, but then he says it's only 1997. I tell him that I'm from 2001, and then get a mischevious grin as I remember that for the first half of 1997 he was single. He asks about that look and I point out that he doesn't have a girlfriend (I don't tell him he's married now) nd sitting beside him on the bed, start to stroke his thigh. I describe in detail what I want to do to him and by the end of the description he's breathing hard. It's pretty obvious that he's going to have no objection to me fucking him.

3 Feb -- I had this dream last night which was essentially a movie. You could do it as either a bi porn movie or a semi-mainstream thing if the sex were off camera. Characters:

It starts on Halloween -- they're going to a party and Laura is a biker chick in black leather. Very different from her usual look, but it's hot. They all get drunk, go someplace private, hang out and talk, and I think it starts with Laura threatening to spank Alex for something rude he said and he dares her to. She goes through with it and after a few smacks with him bent over her lap, she realizes he's hard as a rock. Her hand pauses; with mock-toughness Alex says "That's all?" and Laura pushes her hand between his legs to spread them apart and after each stroke starts groping him.

Mike and Tom aren't really paying attention -- they were talking about something else or watching TV in the opposite corner of the room. The dream skipped the start, but eventually Mike and Tom are embracing, kissing, rubbing crotches together, undressing (clumsily due to costumes and drunkeness) and masturbating each other. Meanwhile, Laura has Alex undressed, crawling on the floor, kissing her boots. She may tie his hands with something that's lying around and ride his cock from on top.

The next day, Mike and Laura, whose memories are blurry, sort of apologize to one another. Neither one can come down too hard on the other because both are guilty of some infidelity. Things appear to be normal between them, but each one is still thinking about how turned on they were that night. The others don't really have the guts to bring it up.

For Thanksgiving, one family has invited the four to all spend Friday-Sunday at their vacation home. Two parents and a grandmother are there, but the kids mostly hand out in the TV room rather than the adults' living room.

Tom and Mike have the first impromptu discussion. Tom has been a little freaked by how much he enjoyed himself, whereas Mike has come to the conclusion that he wants them to get together again. He tells Tom that both of them seem to be bisexual, a word that sort of soothes Tom who had been thinking in terms of one is straight or gay, not both. Mike still doesn't know how to deal with Laura, who he likes but can't quite imagine having a future with anymore. But everyone else seems to have gone to bed, so Tom and Mike take the opportunity to make out, explore each other's bodies in a sober condition, and eventually have Mike go down on Tom. He kind of chokes trying to swallow Mike's come, which having oral sex performed on him in the past hasn't prepared him for.

Afterwards they go to the bedroom they're sharing with Alex, and he's not asleep but has been looking at some porn mags he brought with him. They're all femmedom stuff and the others remark on this and Alex says it has recently become a favorite subject. Mike asks if it has anything to do with Laura and Alex admits he hadn't really thought of being dominated until it happened. Mike sits down on the other bed and tells him what's been happening with Tom and Mike, debates with himself and the other guys which physical relationship to keep and if it's possible to keep both friendships.

Laura and Alex have a talk (a porn movie would probably show her masturbating beforehand, with whispered comments to the imaginary sub) and realize that they have been getting more and more attracted to one another. They have a scene involving candlewax (I think this last paragraph is from imagination now, rather than the dream) as the guest room she's in has candles.

So the next day Mike and Laura break up amicably and Laura and Alex wait a bit before starting to publicly date. The dream didn't get to the point of seeing whether Mike and Tom go public or not.

I had another dream a few days before and not so unfamiliar -- Russ and I were sent back in time to early 1900s masquerading as a married couple to gather information for historical stuff. But living with an attractive guy who is off-limits absolutely is driving me nuts. So Simon visits as a "friend of Russell's from college" and while Russ is at work, I take Simon into our secret basement 21st-century room and propose to him that he and I fuck till we're exhausted, then watch a movie or something, and then fuck some more. Later we have Leah visit; Russ stays home from work, supposedly sick, Leah stays with him while I go shopping because I know where to go for everything; at least that's the public reason for me to leave, and give them the house and bedroom to themselves.

20 Feb -- Been thinking about women lately. Last night I was reading stacks of mostly male/male stuff (though I did send Simon the URL of one that featured Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, his crush) and one was Orgazmo with Joe, Ben and Lisa living in a house together and Joe being shared by the other two. I imagined myself completing the square, coming in as Ben's date but eventually getting into bed with Lisa, exploring her smooth body -- I don't remember it all, I was falling asleep.

Today I've gone back to previous sexy party fantasies; I have Simon, Gus, Ed, Russ, Leah and me start out doing the Purity Test again, and drinking, and Leah and I deciding to go in my room and dress up in lingerie. I show her around all I have, and when she sees the pasties she just has to wear them. I get out the thong and stockings that sorta match, and the liquid latex to hold the pasties on, and she takes off her clothes. I try and explain the liquid latex, and watch as she daubs it on her nipples and sticks the little sequined cones on. Dressed up she looks incredible -- every man out there is going to be rock-hard seeing her barely clothed body. Then we decide what I should wear -- different versions of this had me in the little green gown, or a purple teddy and purple collar. Then we look each other over and she steps closer, leans in and kisses me. I'm a bit surprised but not displeased. I put my hands on her waist while the kiss goes on. When we break off, we talk and decide to go out and do that again in front of the guys. I take out the sex toys as well -- I want to rub her pussy through the blue cloth, but I may have to let the Magic Wand do that for me. I want to caress her breasts but Russ will do that.

8 Mar -- Erotic dreams. Last week one had me, Fred, and Greta in some kind of BDSM gathering at a club, with Fred as my sub and Greta as his. In that one I met a guy, short light hair and unusually (for me) a bit of muscles -- someone out of a gay porn mag. We went and had hot sweaty, but vanilla sex in a back room, leaving Fred and Greta at the table.

The one last night I don't remember nearly as much of -- there was a hurricane and I was trapped in a house with Ed, Simon, and Al (or it might have been Gus instead of Ed -- memory is blurry). We didn't want to venture outside a few windowless and possibly basement rooms because of the weather. Anyway, I sequentially lured each of them into a closet and had sex with each. (This is noteworthy for being the first time I recall any erotic thoughts involving Al. Not that the idea bothers me.)

Simon and I had sex in his office last Friday, which was a fun quickie but no more comfortable than us in my office. I'm kinda shopping for a blanket or something thick enough to cushion the floor while small enough to be rolled up and stored in a file cabinet or desk drawer in one of our offices(or one for each, though I think the one in Simon's would get more use).

29 Mar -- As I go through typing the stories going back to high school, I'm really annoyed by the lack of detail. They've gotten better, but I still don't have the patience to write the most intensely detailed stuff I like to read. I guess I'll see how the stack of unfinished stuff turns out, and how far away I can get from my high school habit of pages of getting up to physical contanc and then just "we fucked." (I suppose that's what I get for putting up things I myself considered second-string work.)

16 April -- Well, Susie Bright's put out a book on reading/writing erotica, so I'll have to get a copy and see if it offers any tips on assuaging my worries from the previous entry. I feel a little lost now that I've put up all the old stuff --typing was something to do in the evening that didn't require the energy of creativity and arousal. I'll have to work on my sex-product reviews until I have the get-up-and-go to write on the half-finished stories.

Last week Ed and I just about shaved my cunt. I've still got a "privacy hedge", as Ed called it, the strip of hair over the pubic bone, but the sides and the area around the labia were shaved with his electric trimmer. It took some getting used to -- it's the first time since puberty that I've had so clear a view of my own genitals and back then I never looked at them. It's particularly erotic to soap the area in the shower, so unusually slick and smooth compared to the usual tangle of hair. However, my clit isn't used to the lack of cushioning and is a bit more sensitized. It wasn't planned at all -- I just wanted him to trim my pubic hair a bit -- but I don't mind. (I wish the goddamned new antidepressant weren't fucking with my sex drive so I could enjoy it more!)

26 April -- I had quite a long and very sexual dream last night which unfortunately I only remember the end of -- I was with Fred, of all people, and we were outdoors, desperately searching for a place to have sex and immensely worked up, unbelievably horny and about to go at it under some bleachers until some kids and their coaches showed up to play soccer or something, so we left to search further and I woke up enough there to start pressing down a finger on my clit and I was still enough in the dream's arousal that it felt wonderful. Still only half awake, I got the purple unicorn [dildo] out of the bedside drawer and put it in my and did some thrusts, which were weirdly transcendent -- not orgasmic, but a constant unchanging level like that just before orgasm. Normallly 'just before' is terribly tense because you wnat a little tiny bit more oomph to put you over the edge, but this was just staying on that extremely pleasurable level. The alarm-radio clicked on during this, which didn't stop me immediately but did wake me up a lot more, and once I was more awake I wasn't aroused anymore, even though my body had lubricated; well, the dildo didn't feel quite right. Since I went on Effexor I can't seem to just think about sex and get aroused, but my body and/or unconscious seem to be insisting the horniness come out sometime.

12 May -- I dreamt that that I was on the Kids in the Hall set (I've been watching too much of them lately) and having an affair with, of all people, Scott Thompson. Not that he isn't cure, although Dave is cuter, but my subconscious would pick the outspokenly gay guy for me to have. In the dream two of the others -- I'm not sure, it might have been Bruce and Mark, were having an affair as well.

After general frustration with my and Simon's offices as sex locations, I've also been fantasizing about us two getting a hotel room and bringing a suitcase full of supplies -- candles (hope they wouldn't set off a smoke alarm -- have to get a smoking room), latex, lubes, condoms, lingerie, collar, his handcuffs, etc. It's been so long since he and I have had comfort,fs time for a second go-round, all that.

15 May -- I've read Susie Bright's How To Read/Write A Dirty Story -- interesting book but it's made me paranoid. Even though I'm not trying to get anyone to pay for my work, and the Jane's Guide reviewer even gave it the quality rating, I still feel like I can't be writing like I'm "supposed to." That's the disadvantage of the existence of such a book -- it makes recommendations feel like rules. I mean, I know I've improved over the years all my stuff was written, the older stuff's almost too embarrassing to have on the site, but I'm still feeling like even the newer stuff can't be all that great. I need to find some tracking software to put on the site and see if people actually go past the counter page. Shame most trackers don't allow adult content.

The recent fantasy has been playing strip Trivial Pursuit with Gus and Simon, at the former's apartment. We never did in real life work out rules for more than two players for the strip version, but technically I still owe Gus a 'favor' from that game and he said he wanted to see me masturbate. He's read that story; he knows I fantasize about an audience. So I image the three of us playing the game -- with two guys trying to get me undressed and only me to undress both of them, I run out of clothes pretty quickly. Simon, who hasn't got nearly the familiarity with my fantasies that Gus has, is surprised when Gus dares to propose that I masturbate for then and even more so when I agree. (It's certainly not something Simon would have the patience to watch when alone with me -- he'd probably wait about a second before shifting to something he could participate in. But another guy's presence puts a damper on that.) So I lie back, already naked, enjoying a non-fantasy audience for a change, dipping my fingers into my wet cunt for slickness to brush between my labia and over my clit, using my fingers to comb the pubic hairs that tangle over the lips during the day. Rubbing index and middle finger on either side of my clit head for some slightly indirect stimulation. Eyes closed, hips raising, cunt walls clenching at nothing until I maneuver two fingers from the other hand inside. I'm blocking the guys' views of my cunt but I don't really care -- the sensations are too powerful. My fingers are really just pulling clit and surrounding folds back and and forth at a breakbeat pace, my other hand is trying to follow its two fingers inside me. I come in that prolonged way only I know how to give myself, the exact moment to back off for a fraction of a second and then press harder to kep the peak going. My whole body shudders and my hips are briefly inches off the floor, shoulders pushing against pillows and mashing them flat.

When I can open my eyes and think again, I look at the guys. The cat is looking at me funny because I made such noise, but then he stalks away. Simon looks away when my eyes light on his face, but he is breathing hard. Gus smiles at me, honest enjoyment rather than Simon's slight embarrassment. I just now start to withdraw my fingers from inside me, setting off aftershocks that make me jerk and gasp. I would love to have one of them climb on top of me now -- when my whole body and certainly my whole pubis is sensitized after stroking my clit to orgasm, I love some deep penetration with the mass of a whole body behind it, not overtaxing the same area as before but stimulating everywhere else.

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