Female Ejaculation

It took me ten years to figure out that I was a female ejaculator. (I hate that phrase, by the way. It reminds me of "dancing bear," and Dr. Johnson's famous comment that the thing about a bear dancing is one didn't expect to see it done well; one was surprised to see it done at all.) On certain rare occasions (not every time I have an orgasm) there's a lot more liquid produced than normal, that's all. I never equated it with all this stuff I heard about.

I was fifteen or sixteen and still learning how to give myself an orgasm, and though I thought I was well informed about sex (reading Nancy Friday's books of sexual fantasies at age eleven will do that to you) I don't think I'd ever heard of female ejaculation. A bondage fantasy and some props to go with it led to one of the first actual orgasms I could be sure I'd had, and a very large wet spot on the bed. It didn't smell exactly like urine, but there was a vague similarity of smell and I was quite embarrassed, thinking I had wet the bed (not a turn-on for me at all). I cleaned up and avoided that particular situation for the bit of shame now associated with it.

With Fred, my first lover, who loved to have me kneel over his head while he lay down and ate me out, it happened again once or twice. He thought it was urine himself; luckily, that was one of his turn-ons. I was a bit confused, because I hadn't needed to go to the bathroom. I came to a sort of conclusion that it had just been so intense an orgasm that I had lost control of my bladder as well. It seemed odd, since I had plenty of intense orgasms without any such loss, but I wasn't the most attentive to anything but the wonderful feelings at the time.

I continued reading all sorts of information about sex. I came across references to "female ejaculation," but given the wording, I visualized some sort of big jet of white fluid coming out of a woman like it generally did with a man. (I think there has to be a less misleading phrase to describe this phenomenon.) It took a lot of reading in female-written and female-centered works to realize that this "ejaculation" just meant that a lot of fluid came out quickly. Apparently some women do the spectacular geyser thing, but they aren't the only examples.

So now I feel a lot better about myself, less paranoid about letting go during sex because I don't have a fear that I'm going to wet the bed (couch, floor, counter). When I feel a little gush I don't freeze up. And the extra lubrication certainly cuts down on the times my partner has to reach for the storebought lube bottle when I'm being fisted.

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