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Fred, My First Boyfriend

OK, so I am a voyeuse. I don't mind about hearing the stories of the loves of your past because it turns me on to hear about this stuff and besides, at least one of us needs to know what the hell we're doing. You've fucked at least two other girls and learned DAMN well from them, je t'assure!

After we were just pressing together in rhythm and I told him when he asked that yes, I'd felt like I was close to coming, he told me that he had learned to hold back and cited an instance when he was "riding Lisa like this, but nude" and that he had made her come three times before his own. Damn! A lot to look forward to. Mineminemineminemine! And I am damn excited about it. I am seriously considering modeling the blue nightgown for him Saturday night. But I didn't know you could do this much with clothes on. I am so secure of him; so I keep imagining some Long family thing [characters from a Robert Heinlein book] with whoever he might want, although I don't know who that might be, and my second favorite [Russ] and sometimes others. Both of them together; you don't know how much that would turn me on! Probably the only thing more than Fred himself. "I love your breasts." "You have the nicest butt in the dorm." "I don't think I've been at less than half-mast since I saw you tonight." Ohhh...

Wear the see-through shirt with nothing under it for him? Or any combination I can think of? A use for all that lingerie sitting in the drawer. And remind me to change that line about coming up for air in all my stories; now I have enough experience to know that swallowing is the harder thing to do while deep kissing, although it's possible. I think I see Maureen's point [character in Heinlein novel who makes the comment "Open not thy mouth unless thou plannest to open thy legs."]

God, I want him inside me. I remember him groaning, "I want to sleep with you!" I remember him rubbing against me from behind and how much that was turning me on except for a lingering worry about getting too near with the pre-come. But maybe if we used that condom I took from the RA's "Free Condoms!" pouch, it would work. Because that position really turned me on despite my lack of mood that evening. I remember him with Rosa, that story about him trying to kiss her (as heard from her and earlier Russ who was then on Rosa's side) or her trying to kiss him (his version) and him saying if only she was as nice as she is sexy, and him saying last night that he wanted to be friends with her again. [Rosa's breakup with Will had left most of the dorm on Will's side and ostracizing her.] Him and her? (And me? And even Russ? Mmmmm....) Though I don't know if I could deal with this in reality but the fantasy is revving me up. Come on baby, light my fire. Do I want to try a 69 on Saturday alone at my house? Since he's gone down on me an infinite number of times it seems like and I went down on him the once. But there's still the big thing of if I get tired or he's going to come do I interrupt or start using my hands or what? Actually, that second alternative sounds nice. Unless he tires first [of going down on me]. Learn to fantasize, Josie, that it's somebody else or some other situation or both, and get more turned on and really writhe against his face. But I feel guilty about it, fantasizing about someone else. So fantasize about you and him in some other situation! Except I never did think much about Fred in weird situations like I did with everyone else. So go through and change the names!

I never thought he would be this gorgeously understanding of all the things that turn me on and still be secure enough with me to love and not just be fucking partners. I love the stories he tells/writes me and all the things he will do to turn me on. I love the way he goes down on me and flicks my clit with the tip of his tongue until I can't stand it anymore. I love the many ways he fucks me. Slamming hard into my cunt and making me moan louder and louder, then slowing down to let the ridge rub against my outside and then starting to fuck me hard again. I could keep on enjoying fucking him forever.

Waiting for Fred to come home from the football party because I want him. He said he'd be home between 10 and 11, the latter of which it is exactly by Amber's microwave clock. We're not going to have time to fuck if you don't get home soon! I put on a garter belt and stockings, with bobby socks over the feet and jeans over all of it for camouflage, and I can even put on my gloves if you like, dear, but you do have to be here. Listening to the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack and wondering if he would get as turned on by it as I do. Drag him to one of the Hillsborough 8 shows? (Have him sacrificed? What does it involve and can I participate?) Sweetie, I'll toy with you and tell you what you missed if you don't get back in time for me to act it out!

I want your tongue against my clit, Fred. You are so good at making me forget the world, everything and everyone except that tongue against me and the longing to have your fingers in my cunt to drive me over the edge but I won't ask for you to do that because I also want it to last forever, I don't want to come just yet because for the time being it'll be over! Which is why I always want you to start fucking me as soon as I get off your face. But someday I will have the patience to let you eat me out without insisting that you stop and start fucking me. That night, you can be my slave, and you will come when I want you to, so I'll take forever. Perhaps let him eat me out with some guy watching and after the spectator is thoroughly turned on I will fuck him and let Fred watch, either having told him he's not to come until I get back to him or tying his hands or something. I can, as I'm typing, feel the tingling in my crotch. I really want ben-wa balls because I really want something I can go in the bathroom and insert, and come or whatever without having my hands or clothes in awkward places for other people to see. [Very little privacy in the dorm.] Experiment in private, and if it works out, wear them in public and Fred will know that I have them in, so he can see a few little trembles that nobody else will notice (or if any particularly observant person does, that's half the fun!)

Oh, remembering him fucking me and saying to close my eyes and finger my clit and imagine that it's Russ doing it. I know he could feel the way the walls of my cunt were clenching around his cock because even I could feel it and I wasn't doing it consciously (although when I do it consciously it has less effect on him anyway) and the additional stimulation was just driving me wild. What a great birthday present that was. I should do the same for him sometime, but who to imagine?

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